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Sailor Moon

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September 22nd, 2010

I don't know why I friend-lock my posts... its not like the people I write about know about this journal.

I am a very rational person. I never let emotions get in the way of things I do. Hell, I question if I have emotion half the time. I do let indecisiveness sway me though.

I think, after lots of rational thinking, I really am going to transfer back home. I just need it to be clear to myself, my parents, and others that its not because I've "failed" at living on my own. Its entirely a money issue. I have no money, so why am I spending so much on my education? I mean, I realize that an education is an investment that I don't see its true value in the immediate moment, but I also realize that I will get the same education for ~$10000 less back home.

And I'll be able to work. I'm talking to my cousin now, who goes to my potential new school, and her cousin could easily get me a job on campus. Or I can work at the mall that is right there. Or any of the 100s of businesses that are between my house and campus.

I really think this is a good idea. I think... I think I really just need to decide when I'm leaving. And how I'm going to tell my three friends.

October 31st, 2009

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(unfinished)

I was taken by the wind today
captured, and blown away
to a far away city
where the colors ran together
into a rainbow pool.

The children jumped and played
smiles burning through the day.
I wander aimlessly,
meeting friendly people,
waving to them all.



October 25th, 2009

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HOLYSHIT

i just spent the weekend in boston with monica.  it was beyond fun.  her and i always have a blast when we're together.  anyways, lemme go into detail.

FRIDAY
i took the train and the T all by myself to Northeastern, conversing with many people on the trip.  I finally got in around 6 or 7 and immediately met Derek, Kristin, Pooja, and Matt.  Matt is narcoleptic and he was asleep when i met him.  Derek was a bit pushy and nosy, but whatever.  Pooja was really cool, and Kristin is exactly like me but asian.  we hung around and watched TV until like 9 o'clock when Pooja, Alex sullivan, Monica and myself decided it was a good time to go to dinner.  We took the T and then walked all over trying to get to cheers, and eventually got there around 10.  i ate a hot dog and a bunch of nachos.  That night we watched mama mia and monica and i shared her bed.  she eventually talked me to sleep.

SATURDAY
we got up around 11 and went to breakfast/lunch.  i don't remember what i ate, but we left soon after for the bookstore where it was absolutely packed because it was parents weekend.  i met Kristin's roommate Lauren and her mom and sister.  They were ridiculously nice.  Monica bought sweatpants and a sweater.  Then we did some more dorm chilling and watched a wizards of waverly place marathon.  Around 5, monica and i set out to walk down to newbury street.  we went to some yogurt shop and a best buy, talking about her new college friends the whole way.  We were supposed to meet charlotte and kayleigh around 6:30 at the MFA and it was like twenty minutes from where we were, so of course we waited until the absolute last minute.  We talked to charlotte for a bit before she handed kayleigh off to us, and we headed back to monica's dorm.  The only reason I was invited this weekend was because Kayleigh had asked to stay with monica, and she wasn't totally comfortable with the idea but she knew that i was closer with kayleigh than her.  we then hung around the dorm, again, until around 10 when were invited by this kid Vish to go to an MIT frat party.  pooja, kayleigh, monica, and i went to his dorm, where we met a bunch of already drunk people wearing trash bags to protect themselves from the pouring rain.  we hadn't really thought to dress appropriately, so we were just in sweatshirts and jeans.  we had to walk like ten blocks to get to the party, and it was pretty much a hurricane.  this creepy guy kept hitting on kayleigh, and touching her, so she was pretty freaked.  once at the party, there was a line outside the door and down the sidewalk.  we knew there was no way we were getting inside, so we turned around.  At that point we were absolutely soaked to the bone, but it was okay.  as a group, mostly on my part, we decided a mcflurry would be totally awesome.  we walked until we saw the golden arches.  i got fries, a mcflurry, and a coke, which i managed to spill all over myself.  we sat to warm up for a bit, and when we got up, the table was literally in a puddle.  we walked back Vish back to his dorm.  he had pregamed before we met up and i guess it had only just hit him, so he tried to get into the wrong building, so Pooja had to help him out.  once at monica's dorm, we had a shower party to warm up.  we danced and sang to the glee hits.  it was wonderful.  we went back to monica's room and watched most of the movie Milk.  kayleigh and i had to share a bed and she snored and i couldn't get comfortable so it took awhile to fall asleep.

SUNDAY
again, we woke up around 11 and immediately went to breakfast.  i had mashed potatoes and french toast sticks.  i love it.  we then had to help kayleigh find a bootleg copy of pan's labyrinth and eventually we did.  then she lost her earrings and her phone.  and then she found her earrings in her bag, and her phone in alex's room.  we walked her to the T so she could go to the aquarium with other people.  Monica, pooja and I went to the library where monica found her missing USB.  then her and i did homework and i got home all by myself.  overall, it was one of the best weekends i've had since coming to the bridge.

October 8th, 2009

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its been awhile since i updated.  i can't remember everything that's happened.

saw jennifer's body.  possibly one of the funniest movies ever, made funnier by megan fox's performance.  i died through the whole movie it was just too funny.  the writing, done by the same woman who wrote "Juno", was amazing.  it was so funny.  the others in the audience didn't realize it was supposed to be a funny movie, so they kept getting pissed at us.  its really not supposed to be all the scary.  it was great.

saw whip it.  not really as great as everyone made it out to be, but it was cute.  i love ellen page, so that was cool.  drew barrymore did a really good job directing, though i expected her acting part to be a bit more than like four lines.  again, cute, but i didn't laugh as much as i thought i would.

one of the weekends i was home, everyone here got shitfaced, obviously.  somehow, they met up with this kid Gordon who's from california.  he was so wasted.  he started climbing up a telephone pole and shouting things at random people.  once they finally got him back to his room and calmed down, they all came back to the quad.  after they came back, he threatened his roommate and an RA with a knife, and got arrested.  we all thought it was hilarious.  he got kicked out of housing, but then the charges were dropped for whatever reason, so he's back, but in a different room.  we see him around and everyone sticks their hands in the air and goes "CALI DUUUUUDE!" cuz apparently he did that a lot.

our group of friends got a name.  "The Byrds."  its an inside joke that i don't get very much, and its actually kinda annoying but whatever.

my aunt pauline got married.  it was really nice, because all the shit she went through.  she'd been alone most of her life, seeing guys randomly.  then when she was diagnosed with cancer, like, we all got scared that she might die.  scott, a man i can proudly call my uncle, was like a blessing.  they met just after she was deemed cancer free.  immediately they hit it off.  and he fit so well with our family.  he's like a younger version of my dad, a guy who can fix anything, but is also like a teddybear.  he's kinda scary looking to be honest, but he's the sweetest guy ever.  the wedding was simple.  it was at st. matts, and father flynn did the ceremony.  it was nice because fr flynn is like a part of our family too, and he knew everything that happened with pauline.  he was just as excited to see her marry as we all were.  i was in charge of documenting the wedding which i think i did a fair job of.  i managed to get a picture of nearly everyone crying, which was cool.  my dad even teared up, so you can imagine how much this meant to our family. 

the reception was a blast.  my family is absolutely ridiculous.  me, nicki, bub, mikey, and timmy were all at a kids table, and we acted like we were five (well, timmy is...).  by the end of the night, there was candy all over the floor, breadcrumbs everywhere, and the tablecloth was ruined.  mikey managed to drink a bunch of champagne and a little bit of beer.  mom was too happy to care.  she even, at one point, tried to get bub to drink some beer.  he was too much a pussy to do it.  pauline and scott's first dance was to "love song" by tesla.  some guy sang open arms by journey and it was crazy amazing.  it was really really good.  also, when they played "rock lobster" by the B52s, everyone ran to the dance floor and jammed like crazy.  i've never seen so many 40 year old people dance like they were 15. 

all i can remember right now.

September 22nd, 2009

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lets see what's been going on lately...

again, nothing of any excitement.  went to hampton beach to visit diane.  it was cold, and there was next to nobody there.  so that was kinda creepy.  i spent most of my time there on the playground with mikey, wanting to throw up. 

i ate mashed potatoes today.  which was lovely.

Shay wrote me a letter.  now her address is hanging just underneath selena gomez's fan mail address.  i swear i'm not a creep.

currently working on a few papers.  i got my first test back in math.  77%.  its worth ~20% of my grade, so that's nice.  i think i'll do fine this semester.  we have advising for spring semester this week. 

now back to discussing why i'd be a good manager.

September 16th, 2009

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okay, so, i already love all my college friends.  we've always got someone to hang with, and everyone is absolutely ridiculous and i love it.  although i do miss my ARHS friends :(

today, i kinda sorta joined this community service group.  which is totally cool.  we have to sell these camp sunshine things to raise money, but its going to be good.  i'm kinda excited about it, but not really at the same time... i dunno.

nothing else to report as of now.

oh, except i went and tagged all of my past stuff.  only on this journal, though.  not toiletpaper278.

September 14th, 2009

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okay so... fixing the poem i posted last time

she comes to your house
tears glisten on her cheeks
to match the rain soaked street
you invite her into the warmth

between sobs and heartache
she tells you her tale
what has brought her to you

slowly she opens
you hear out her frustraitions
feel her torment stain your shirt
its all you can do
to make up for her
black and blue kind of love
-------------------------------

back to life story?
its been a pretty uneventful week.
well, a few things happened outside of classes.

1. i went home for the weekend.

2. we had my aunt's bridal shower.  it was in the hall of a church.  i was in charge of making brownies (i made 45) and "DJ-ing" the event (i made a 1000 song playlist of 80s/90s pop hits).  it was a surprise and it went over great.  the church is where the town's food pantry is located, so my grandma acted like she need help stocking or something and had pauline come with her.  there's also a stage, so everyone got behind the curtain about 10 minutes before she arrived.  after awhile we were getting restless (i was at the door being a lookout) so i called my grandma and hung up almost immediately because they had just pulled up.  Seconds later, pauline calls me from my grandma's phone asking why i had called.  i made up an awesome lie, saying i was still at school and i hadn't talked to mema in awhile, and i really wanted to say hi.  everyone behind the curtain was like "HANG UP! SHE'S RIGHT THERE!" and pauline was like "alright, well, we're at the food pantry, can i have her call you later?"  and i was like "YESLOVEYOUBYE!" and then she walked through the door, saw nicki, saw me, and then the curtains opened and everyone (there was about 40-50 people) was like "OMFG SUUUUUURPRIIIIIIIIIISE!".  pauline flipped out, and started crying.  we were all like, "yeah, go team, we rock."  the whole event was really nice.  i met some second cousins i didn't really know i had, and i guess they're adopted from colombia or something, and the more i talked to their mom the more i remembered this one time i went to one of theirs grad party a few years back.  i put the jams on and we ate to our hearts content.  everyone loved my playlist, obviously, and i considered for a moment DJ-ing professionally.

3. once i got back to my dorm, we had a VMA viewing party with a couple of the neighbors.  kanye was a huge dick to taylor swift, and it made me lose all respect for the man.  seriously, if you have something to say, in this day and age, you just need to facebook/twitter/blog it.  it'll get out there.  you don't need to fucking climb on stage, rip the mic from a teenage pop star, and shout your feelings.  you embarrassed yourself, taylor, beyonce, everyone there, everyone watching, just...everyone.  whatever.  i just laughed at all the facebook statuses (stati?) and tweets.  people were ripshit.  and it was very nice of beyonce to bring tayswift back on the stage to actually have her moment to shine.  classy.  also, lady gaga needs to lay off the crack.  seriously?  her performance was really awesome (she sounds great live), and i understand that she was just trying to be artistic, and get a point across...but i don't think the VMAs were the right place.  i liked it, but it was weird as hell.

4. patrick swayze just died.  its very sad.  he was an amazing actor, and my thoughts go out to his family tonight.  i called mom the second i found out, and she started crying.  she loved him.  RIP

5. kelsey luttrell is taking me to winter ball.  i am so excited.  more excited than i ever was while attending ARHS.  i'm going with kelsey, alyssa, and connor.  and katelyn is going to be there with ty.  its going to be epic.

September 8th, 2009

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we can haz poetry time?
this one has a bit of an explanation to it: so i had this dream, that i was hanging out with selena gomez (don't laugh, i'll kill you), and she had just gotten back from her trip to africa (she went over to raise awareness of their conditions).  we sat down, and decided to write some poetry about her trip.  when i woke up, i could only remember one line we had written, and it had nothing really to do with her trip.  so here is a *work in progress* poem written around the line in my head.  the line will be put in italics.

she comes to your house
tears glisten on her cheeks
to match the rain soaked street
you invite her into the warmth

between sobs and heartache
she tells you her tale
what has brought her to you

slowly she opens
you lend an ear and a shoulder
its all you can do
to make up for her
black and blue kind of love

----
yes?  i kind of like it, but its midnight, and it could probably use some work.

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tuesdays are awesome days off.
i started my day with ellen degeneres.  lady gaga performed, and she's insane.  then i did all my homework, and hung around.  pretty uneventful day.  only two points of interest.

1st, my iPod broke.  well, it works.  but it completely emptied itself for no reason.  so now, i have an empty ipod, and i can only hope that all my music is still on my hard drive at home.  6680 songs, and many many hours of video lost.

2nd, two of the roommates just got called out by the RA for breaking rules.  they had raced halfway down the hall, in laundry baskets.  apparently "hall sports" are against the rules.  also, it was after quiet hours...so..we got in huge trouble.  well, they did.  she said she was going to write them up and stuff.. but she ended up just giving them a warning.  so, not really huge trouble...but we were scared shitless.

September 7th, 2009

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okay, i hate facebook chat and what it does when i get an IM.

also, i was going to update daily here, but i forgot, so you're going to get a huge chunk of info about this last week thrown onto you.

Tuesday
Aubrey went out partying monday night, and didn't show up back at our room until 9AM.  when she came home she was still kinda drunk/high.  Paige and Kelsie went out for the morning, so I stayed back in the room to make sure she'd be okay.  She passed out in bed, and slept soundly until we had our mandatory meetings for the day.  as we walked down to the RCC, she complained that it felt like her stomach with in the fetal position crying.  After a boring introduction meeting, we had to get our class picture done.  about 1,200 of us gathered on the quad, and smiled.  for dinner, they had a campus-wide BBQ.  alyssa and i went together.  they had some tasty food, and a really awesome DJ.  the whole time alyssa and i fought about pop music.  obviously, i had the superior argument, but she was just too stubborn; i gave up.

FIRST WEEK OF CLASSES:

Wednesday

i've decided that mondays and wednesdays are going to be some of the longest days ever.  on both those days i have four classes, three lasting 50 minutes apiece, and one lasting 75 minutes.  I start my day at 8AM with a philosophy course that i'm not sure the point of.  I just know that its a required course, and its really early.  I got up extra early, because the class is across campus from my dorm.  i have about a fifteen minute brisk walk between my room and the class.  i don't understand how someone could gain the freshman fifteen.  i walk at a fast pace for about an hour each day.  i'm going to have nice legs when i get home.  i arrived about five minutes early, and soon became quite agitated.  this was the first class of my college career.  everything i had done for the past few years had brought me to this place.  as i was thinking this, a bit of time had passed, and i didn't realize it at first, but our professor was fifteen minutes late.  he seemed like a quiet man, who had issues talking in front of the class. obviously he took up the wrong profession.  even now (after two classes) i'm not really sure what the course is about, but it has something to do with proving arguments.

i have enough time between that class and the next to go to my room, switch books, and grab some breakfast.  i can't eat breakfast right after i wake up, because it gives me a stomach ache, so this is going to work out.  my next class is also somewhat of a required course.  all freshman have to take a first year seminar course to teach them about writing about literature/texts.  mine is about the italian renaissance, specifically in florence.  this professor is an older woman who probably devoted so much of her life to her studies she forgot to have a life.  i feel like she goes home to a house filled with ancient texts and essays and talks to her cat.  but to each their own.  although the ancient times are my favorite historical period to study, i think i'm going to enjoy the readings.

between these two classes i have a nearly three hour break.  this time is going to be used strictly for eating and relaxing before my two afternoon classes.  my next class is applied calc.  the professor for this class reminds me of my grandfather.  he's an old guy, but seems pretty cool.  he's not going to take any shit from anyone, but is still understanding..if that makes sense.  i've always had issues with math teachers (with the exception of mrs steele junior year), so i often feel like i'll have to teach myself the material.  i think this guy will be a fair teacher.  he gives us plenty of time to sit and understand what he's just told us.  its going to be a tough class (hello, its calc!) but i think i'll be able to handle it.

lastly, i have writing two.  at first, i thought this would be one of my favorite classes, its writing.  i love writing.  false.  its awful, and i've only had it once.  first, i walked into the wrong room, but that wasn't a big deal.  second, when the teacher hobbled in, she took her damn time.  she has a humpback!  like, i guess that isn't her fault or anything, but like...i dunno.  then she gets into what the class is about; its completely about argumentative essays.  absolutely nothing creative.  and we're not even allowed to write about easy topics (religion on public places, same sex marriage, gun laws).  we have to find something completely new and original.  i might kill myself with this class.  finally, my day ends at 4:30.

Thursday
I'm really smart about making my schedule.  tuesdays i have zero classes, and thursday i have one.  the only issue about the one class is that it goes from 2-4:40.  also, its principles of management, so i assumed it'd be taught by some old stuffy guy.  first day of class, we all sit, talking loudly, and complaining about the heat.  we're in the basement of a building but its still a million degrees.  whatever.  the ages of students ranges from freshman at 18 to people around 23-24.  the professor is a slow talker, but, like my math professor, seemed to actually care about if we learned the information.  he explained everything about the course, and it didn't seem to be too hard.  we only meet once a week, which means we only have like 14 actual meetings.  he let us out when he was done explaining, which let me get back to the dorm nearly an hour early.

Friday
On fridays i have the same courses as mon/wed with the exception of writing two (thank god).  This weekend, nicki came down to stay with me.  i called her as soon as i was out of calc (2:40), and was surprised to hear she was already in bridgewater.  I wasn't expecting her until closer to 5.  So, i directed them up to my dorm, checked nicki and denise in, and brought them up to show them my room.  we get up to the room, and aubrey didn't have shirt on.  i've already become accustom to my roommates' lack of clothing, but this sort of shocked denise.  she left a few bags of food, and turned right out the door.  nicki and i sat around mostly.  did a lot of facebooking.

Saturday/Sunday
Nicki and i didn't really know what to do with ourselves.  Aubrey had left to go home for the weekend, Kelsie spent her time in Phil's room, and Paige hung out with Caitlin.  we walked to CVS at least twice each day, and made one 1-mile trip to roche brothers to get grapes.  it was a really unproductive weekend, but those are the best.  we had a lot of laughs, and hopefully, the weekend turned nicki on to campus living and BSC. 

Monday
Thanks to the great American government, i did not have classes today.  instead, our group of roommates/friends went out to boston, and nicki and i had a gossip girl marathon.  I cleaned/organized my side of the room as well.  Nicki got picked out around 2.  Finally i was alone and ready to do work.  So far i've gotten 2 of 4 assignments done, but i also have all day tomorrow.  Aubrey came home around 4 and she started her work too.  Around 6 we decided to hit up dinner.  She talks a lot, but i'm totally okay with that because most times i'd rather listen than talk.  we came back to the dorm and planned out her entire trip to try to get to see her almost/kinda boyfriend at Keane.  its an intense trip.  then around 9 we heard the train come in and we knew our peaceful silence was almost up.  it was at that time we decided to go on a nice slow calming walk to CVS.  again, she did most of the talking.  at cvs, we met a girl with had Pi tattooed around her wrist.  it was actually really cool.  now we're back in the room, and the peaceful silence wasn't really interrupted.  the only difference is now gossip girl is on, and i think we're both okay with that.

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